Two I Am in the Morning

When I was 19, on a trip in England, something terrible happened. I started having what I call disturbing thoughts and images-graphic sexual and violent images in my mind. At first, they shocked me. Why am I thinking these things? The thoughts and images would not leave and became increasingly more bizarre. I became frightened because I did not know what was causing them, or what would make them go away. I was plagued with this "condition" for the next thirteen-and-a-half years; then they suddenly stopped for about three years, only to return again and are with me to this day-albeit to a much lesser degree. Two I Am in the Morning: my life with a brain that has a mind of its own, my complete 88,500 word autobiography, is the story of this nearly thirty-year war between good and evil that I have endured inside my head. During this conflict I was invaded by severe depression, debilitating confusion, chronic and torturous physical pain, alcoholism, and lust-in addition to the disturbing thoughts and images-and my defeat seemed inevitable. Then the Holy Spirit showed up. The day I realized that Jesus Christ truly was God, and that He loved me, cared for me, and wanted the best for me, the tide of the war began to change. With Christ as my General, we started winning the battles, and the enemy's attempts to destroy me were in vain. The assured victory of being on God's side granted me the hope I thought had long been dead. But God had other plans. Regarding Two I Am..., editor Dr. Marian of FirstEditing.com wrote: Dear Ian, It was my privilege and honor to edit your autobiography. Anything I could say by way of review would fall far short of my reactions as I read. Your written prose was exceptionally well done, but your personal courage, openness, and soul-searing honesty filled me with admiration, as it will with all those who read it. Ultimately, it is a message of hope, forgiveness, and love. Your conclusion is beautifully done and, all those fellow sufferers among your readers will find new hope in the chronicles of your personal journey.