The Ministry of Utmost Happiness Parody

I came to know that most of my fan's brains got fried after reading my novels 'The God of Dirty Things: Bicker Prize Winner 2017', 'Things That Can and Cannot be Screwed', 'Broken Banana', 'The Hanging Of Faizal Guru', 'The Shape of The Breast', etc. My fans are no longer able to live with religious Hindus peacefully. They are getting offended at anything remotely related to Hindu religion. This is hampering my fan's physical and mental health. Unfortunately it is neither possible to avoid 80 crore Hindus, nor can we deport them to Andaman Islands. Hence I wrote this novel to help my fans get 'reverse brainwash'. After reading this book, my fans may start treating Hindus as human beings. I would also like to apologize to all my fans for my past misdeeds. Jai Hind.