The Dumb Zone

The Death Zone: a 26,000-ft summit with too little oxygen for survival

The Dumb Zone: that delirious, climbing-obsessed space between your ears

Where do you fall within the Dumb Zone? Dopey beginner? Gonzo hill climber? Rockhead? Elite hard-guy/gal with a death wish? Let's be brutally honest about your climbing status. You won't get anything out of this book unless you know where you stand.

Actually, you might not get anything out of this book except a few laughs. Brutally honest just sounds really badass. And badass is what climbing's all about.

[[ A confession from the author

Speaking of "brutally" - it's brutally hard to write a sales pitch that doesn't suck. What do I know about getting high on boulders, rock walls and mountains? All it took was a chance encounter with one story about this suicidal sport to send me bingeing on every climbing-related book, movie and website in existence. Thanks to a warped sense of humor, this obsession morphed me into the Don Rickles of climbing.

So let's get on with it. I hope the rest of this pitch doesn't seem too lame.

Leah Carson ]]



Among the topics you'll find in The Dumb Zone:

"Aw, F#@* It, Dude. Let's Go Bouldering."

Belaying: the Three Stooges Method

Stop Whining and Start Packing: 10 Essentials

What to Expect When You're Everest-ing

Are You Smarter Than an Avalanche?

"Hey, Askole!"

Fifteen Ways To Leave Your Lifetime

There's even a quiz, "Discover Your High-Q," that determines your status in the food chain with multiple-choice questions like this.

After a long climbing session, you like to...

a) go home and play videogames online.

b) get plastered with buddies around a campfire.

c) rappel down to the base and start all over again.

d) hang upside down in a bivy sack battered by an ice storm at 18,000 ft.

So take a chance, eh? This paperback is almost worth it at $14.80. And if you can guess the hidden meaning behind 14/80, you'll be the smartest piece of debris in the avalanche field.