Taken

Taken. What does that mean? The definition of the word is 'remove (someone or something) from a particular place' but it is more than that for me. My child was taken. My reason for getting up every day was taken. My son's innocence about life was taken. His belief that mummy will always be there for him was taken. His whole world as he knew it to be at 2 and a half years old, was taken. The part of me that was there for my son emotionally was taken. His ability to understand and use his emotions in the right way was taken. Even his tears when he cried were taken Because when he was taken to that house full with strangers and left there with nothing and no one that was familiar to him; he cried. They told him that he didn't need to cry because he was going to be okay, and that these people were going to look after him. But he wasn't okay because in his little messed up mind ... everything that he knew and loved was gone far far away and he was too little to understand that it was only temporary. From that moment on, he was lost inside his own little head. Too little to understand and too young to make sense of the chaos that had been forced on him. That was a slice of his life taken. He wasn't okay and he still isn't 8 years later. So I think titling the book TAKEN represents more than 'remove (someone or something) from a particular place' and maybe, just maybe we can get some clarity on this sad and lonely time in our lives. Our memories were taken and replaced with tears, pain, heartache and sadness and for that I am not only sorry but devastated. My little boy lost his mummy that day, she was taken and replaced by a shadow. Still to this day, he waits for her to come back and put her arms around him and whisper in his ear 'mummy will keep you safe. I will always be here for you' just like she did all those years ago when the house was full of Christmas decorations and the smell of freshly mowed grass was coming in through the windows. He waits and hopes and blames himself for her not being here and at the same time she waits and blames herself and beats herself up over and over again because that isn't who she is anymore. She can't be. It happened so many times in the end that it was easier to put a wall up that protected me from the pain of them taking him away, but I built it up so high that now I don't know how to take it down. That's Taken.