Learning by Doing

'How many hours did you meditate?' the monk asks Gustav. 'Five hours. I am finding meditation boring, ' he confesses. 'Accept, accept, ' the monk tells him. I can't believe he shared this with the teacher. It makes me smile. I appreciate his honesty. I am slightly jealous because I don't think I would ever have the audacity to confess something like that. At the same time, I don't find the mediation practice boring. In fact, I find it anything but boring. It is challenging to sit with myself. To deal with my own insecurities. To not think. To not dream. That is the greatest challenge of all. 'How is your meditation?' the monk asks me. 'It was difficult today. I found myself worrying about my family today at mediation, ' I admit. 'Do you know about the non-self?' he asks. Is that a trick question? I pause to think. He doesn't wait for me to answer. 'Non-self is about thinking and worrying about something or someone other than yourself. You have no control over others or what happens outside of yourself, so it is best if you do not focus on non-self.' He is so right. I can't control anything outside of myself. Not others' behaviors or feelings. All I have control over is myself. 'Impermanence means things are always changing, ' he continues. 'We must accept it. We lose happiness when we worry about non-self, or dharma. Do you know Buddha?' he asks. I am confused by his question. Do I know Buddha? Not personally I look at the many Buddha statues lined up next to him. 'Dharma is something all humans have. Dharma is when we have goals or are thinking of the things we can not do. It makes us lose sight of the present moment. We lose happiness. Happiness is now, ' he continues. I threw myself into this mediation. I didn't know much about the basic principles before signing up. I'm just slowly learning it now through practice. 
 When you want something and you don't know exactly how to get it, consider getting a momentum going. Just start. Start anywhere. The next step will become clear to you. Once you've started, it's easy. You just have to keep going. In the same way, in driving you use the most gas when you use the accelerator to start your car. Once you're going, it's easy to maintain that speed and to keep cruising.