Khaya

This book is dedicated to all schoolgirls and boys out there craving attention and connection to other kids and longing for someone to acknowledge that they matter. Yes, you matter. As a writer and Marriage and Family Therapist, I am accustomed to hearing stories of schoolgirls and boys who lie about others, are driven by jealousy, and end up crushing other kids' hopes and dreams because jealousy and lying make them feel better about themselves.

 

In my clinical experience, if a child feels left out at school by other kids, it may be a sign of childhood neglect, feelings of rejection, or severe abandonment issues that, if left untreated, may lead to future mental issues. Instead of judging, dismissing, or ignoring the child's negative behavior, I prefer to call attention to their sense of kindness, humor, or other positive traits they bring to the classroom. If a friend doesn't want to play and it causes them feelings of jealousy such that they must lie to fit in, I would help that child use their strengths to connect with the very child they are jealous about because it's essential in their formative years to encourage and build a child's self-worth.

 

In this book, Khaya helps highlight how to respond constructively to Nollie's jealous feelings without being critical or pointing out Nollie's flaws to other kids in their school. Khaya plans to approach Nollie privately with love and to understand her misplaced feelings. Khaya conducts herself with dignity and draws a hard-liner around Nollie's jealous behavior.