I shall be blue: Self help book for depression

From my experience when one is suffering with depression, there appears to be very little empathy or understanding from society, family members and friends. We may hear comments like "pull yourself together," "try and do something and you will feel better." These comments can leave people suffering with depression feeling much worse. This is because they would like to, they are trying hard to but, it is not that easy for them. The pressure of being told to do something they are at that time unable to do only succeed in enhancing their feelings of inadequacy which subsequently keeps them in the cycle of depression.In all fairness people just want the 'old you' back, they are trying to help you in their own clumsy way. They don't know what to say to you to make you feel better, and they don't know how to make you feel better.These types of comments however, do not help. They just leave the depressed person feeling worse. They may leave them feeling guilty for being unwell, ashamed that they are unable to function like they used to or like other people do, these type of comments may leave them feeling 'bad' when they already feel 'bad' enough. What people with depression need is nurturing and empathy to help them to recover, not criticism or unhelpful comments that make them feel worse. They need the same as anyone when they are feeling unwell. It's interesting that people would not tell someone with two broken legs "get up and walk, you will feel better then." They would nurture them, tell them to put their feet up, nurture and support them. The depressed person needs the same empathy and love. To start to feel better, they need tender loving care, even when they push you away, even when they tell you they don't, they usually do.Unless you have suffered with depression then it is hard to understand just how extremely difficult it is. It is often described as being stuck in a 'black hole' that they cannot get out of. They are trying to claw their way out but each time that they get near to the top they fall back in again. It feels like their whole body is unable to function. It can leave them feeling breathless and sad to the depths of despair. It is like walking through thick mud and not being able to get any further forward. It can be like carrying around with them a ton of sand on their back that weighs them down when they do try to do anything. It takes every inch of energy that they can muster up to just get out of bed in the morning. Often when they wake up in the morning, they just want to go back to sleep again, to avoid that dull ache inside, as sleep is their only respite. They often wake up with an impending sense of doom, a sensation that something tragic is about to occur, they may be feeling upset and unable to rectify the feeling with an obvious explanation.So when people say things like "pull yourself together" then this just makes the person feel worse. It can make them feel as if they have some control over how they are feeling and that they can just snap out of it at any time they want. Often they feel that they can't.It is possible to recover from depression with some professional help. Also what is needed is some kindness, some understanding and some nurturing particularly in the beginning. It helps when people have some understanding of what is happening to them and why, followed by some useful guidance on how to overcome this debilitating mental illness.That is what I hope this book can offer you, tools to recover slowly but effectively. To rush people with depression to 'wellness' often just makes them worse and is more likely to trigger recurrent episodes. This book aims to help you to understand your depression and has tools and models to help you to overcome this debilitating illness to enjoy your life again. As with all Lindas self help books - They are to support clients and therapists in their journey,