How to Housebreak Your Wombat

From the book: "Welcome to a fun and exciting several years as you get to interact with these amazing animals. But like all pet owners, one of the things that will vex you the most is trying to housebreak your new friend. As a Wombat wildlife and game operator, owner, and trainer, I have over 25 years of experience working with these incredible animals. While some trials and tribulations await you in the weeks, months, and years ahead, I have no doubt that the journey will be one filled with wonder, joy, and frequent bouts of horror as you deal with what is absolutely and fundamentally a wild animal that is completely untrainable in all forms. In fact, this animal should have as little interaction with humans as possible." Comment from literary critic: "This book has no relevance, is poorly written, edited, and researched. It is clearly a blatant attempt to capitalize on the current Wombat craze sweeping the nation." From a different literary critic: "Don't listen to that first critic, this book needed to be written because the story had to be told. Think of it like Dr. Zhivago, except about Wombats."