Houseplants and Their Fucked-Up Thoughts

Have you ever wondered if your houseplants are silently judging you?

Maybe you think you and your foliated friends are happily cohabitating. Maybe you bought them on a whim and hardly think about them at all. Maybe things are a bit more complicated.

Is it possible that your plants have inner lives that run deeper than their roots? That your fiddle-leaf fig finds you pathetic? That your majesty palm is deeply disdainful? Or that your philodendron has been eyeing your man?

Just because your plants can't speak doesn't mean they don't have a lot to say. Proceed with caution. Once you peek into the tangled minds of these dirt-loving deviants, you might never feel at home with your houseplants again.