From Broken to Breakthrough

God why me? Sitting in a puddle of my own tears balled up in a fetal position. I'm feeling like these four walls are caving in on me. It's pitch black. I can't see or think. My heart is racing. I've finally lost it. My screams are getting louder and louder. How did I get to this point in my life? How did I become exactly what I set out not to be? A statistic I was just another stereotypical young black single mother, from the hood living in poverty. Pinching pennies scratching and crawling trying to take care of my four children alone. I'm feeling like thirty years on this earth has come crashing down on me like a ton of bricks Heartbreak after heartbreak, tears upon tears, failure after failure. Living the life where poverty and violence is the normal. And success is just a dream. How can I try to instill the quality of life into my children when all I have been exposed to is this? I'm constantly torturing myself and haunted by the creativity that flows through me. Oh how I wish there was a rewind button. I need to escape. This darkness is eating my soul. As I opened my eyes there was a light shining across the dresser. In the mist of my watery blood shot eyes, I can see a bottle of pills. As I crawl closer and closer I could hear a soft voice whispering "just take it. End it all. What do you have to live for?" With my hand shaking grasping the bottle a strange feeling came upon me. A warm and peaceful sensation came all over my body. I could start to feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I turned around and there was my baby boy staring at me. He walked over to me and gave me the warmest, most fulfilling hug I've ever had. Look at me being embraced and crying in the arms of a two year old. The hug seems to have lasted for hours. I felt so much love. It was like he knew exactly what I was going through and with one hug gave me so much relief and comfort. Finally he let go and gave me a kiss on my forehead before running off to play with his brother. At that very moment I realized my two year old just saved my life.