Bluffer's Guide to Skiing

Instantly distinguish between a schuss and a snowplough, a stem turn and a slalom, a sidecut and a side-slip with Bluffer's Guide to Skiing. Bask in the admiration of your fellow skiers as you pronounce confidently on what to do and where to do it. Never claim that your skis have 'blunt edges' or that you just can't get enough 'flex' in your ski boots (these are valid excuses for most forms of skiing ineptitude.) And never boast that you haven't had a lesson in your life. This is ill-advised, not least because it invites the entirely legitimate retort: 'Yes, it shows.' Above all, effortlessly hold your own against those who have skiing in their DNA. Just don't make the mistake of skiing with them.