Bill

It's the turn of the seventeenth century in Elizabethan England. Stratford - a small town north of London - is preparing for the biggest day of its existence. Not only is Bill's latest play, Hamlet, set to be premiered at the Royal Scepter, but the British realm's ruler, Elizabeth, is going to be in attendance. Elizabeth rarely ventures outside her castle walls because her very life has been targeted by the legendary Lord of Sussex - but an exception is being made. Public relations and all. Bill's literary representative, Nigel Proudbottom, is getting the town and theater ready for this historic event. The cobblestones are being scrubbed and the citizens are being washed and dressed in their finest. But - cleansed or not - Stratford is under siege by forces most dastardly. As life prepares to imitate art, Hamlet is being brought to life in the streets of this small, quaint town. In addition to the threat of royal homicide, Nigel's lady, Abigail Mowbray, is being stalked by the magistrate, Lord Hightower, for falling in arrears with her taxes. Abby is also being wooed by the head warlock of Gaultree Wood, Ambrose Gaelen, the recently-elected head of the local coven. But Abigail's heart firmly belongs to Nigel. And before Hamlet's final curtain falls, Gaelen will find that sweet Abby is the object of many a desire in Stratford. Stratford is soon to be overrun by Londoners traveling with the Queen's contingent. Stratford is also the destination of Gaultree's numerous spirits - witches and crones who are casting spells and incants over the local populace; including the play's actors, the local merchants, the Queen's entourage and every assorted fiend, pervert and n'er-do-well. Gauldwyn, an actor from London with a shady local past, will be playing the mad Danish prince cum king. Thaddeus Friend, one of Nigel's oldest and most trustworthy associates is set to play Ophelia, but an unlucky accident hobbles the actor, and Nigel is forced to make a last-minute change in the cast, and hires an actual woman - a woman - to fill-in as Ophelia. Not only is this decision dangerous and illegal, it sets-up a series of errors that threatens to bring the entire production to a grinding halt and expose many in the cast to the London Security forces who are hunting a royal assassin. The production is further compromised by Squire Benjamin Bosphus, a fifteen-year-old scribe carrying the play's folio - ink still wet - from London. When Ben loses the play, he is forced to recreate the scenes to the best of his memory. Chaos ensues as the play is further compromised by criminals, warlocks and political intrigue of all shapes and sizes. By the time the premier is to begin, Hamlet hardly resembles Bill's vision and is a monumental mess - a disaster (or tragedy) just waiting to happen.