Accidental Martyr

First and foremost, this book is for YOU the FAMILY CAREGIVER. It's about what you need to know and/or do to prevent caregiver burnout and abuse while caring for someone with dementia. Think of it as your survival guide A buffet of workable solutions. With each story, I share the dilemma I experienced while caring for my mother 24/7 with dementia. I explain how I handled it and what I learned. I deliberately kept the chapters quite short. At the end of each chapter I list 'Lessons Learned' which you can choose to use or ignore. We hear a lot about senior abuse and rightly so. But what about family caregiver abuse? Let's give family caregiver abuse the same attention and support as we do for seniors. When we are caregiving we begin thinking 'what's wrong with me'. Believe me, it's not you. The problem is dementia and you're at the receiving end. In the initial stages of dementia, it's difficult to separate the disease from your loved one. Why? Because their personality is still there but dementia pops in and out. You never know what's coming at you. Very little is written or said about how it will impact you, the caregiver. Unfortunately, I had to create solutions on the 'fly' for 18 months. I kept turning for answers and getting very little advice, if any at all. There was no guide book. I figured others must be having the same difficulties that I experienced, so I decided to pull my journal together into a book. Under the weight of caregiving 24/7, the last thing I wanted to read about was the medical effects of Alzheimer's. Outlining what it is and what it does to the person. I was already in the war zone. I was living it. I was in the trenches and I had had enough. I was now in survival mode and in serious need of guidance. Tell me how to cope with the abuse I am experiencing right now What I realized was, unless you've experienced the nightmare of family caregiving for someone with dementia, an outsider really has no idea of what the caregiver is experiencing. And that can be a problem with family. They don't see what the problem is really. They'll say "just ignore it," "forget about it"; and my personal favorite, "why take it so personal?' They mean well. It reminds me of the saying, 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'. We need support, understanding and compassion. Caring for our loved one is personal. And the abuse we receive is even more so than anyone could believe. Family Caregivers are in unchartered waters. This book I hope will change that. You really are performing a wonderful, self-sacrificing service. I hope this book helps you smile, laugh and realize you are not alone. You can contact me at www.kimjoanneholden.com