Cemetery Closing (Everything Must Go)

The fifth book in the wildly popular series of horror/comedy novels featuring Andrew Mayhem

As a stay-at-home dad taking care of triplets, Andrew Mayhem's days of getting into wild adventures are over. His life is measured in diaper changes. Sleep has become an abstract concept, something oft-discussed with his wife Helen but rarely experienced.

So when Internet celebrity explorer Percival Longshore asks Andrew and his best friend Roger to travel with him on a good old-fashioned treasure hunt, Andrew laughs off the idea. He can't even watch ten consecutive minutes of a movie, much less fly to the rainforest in South America to see if an old map is accurate.

The base pay is generous, the potential reward is astronomical, and Percival assures him that he will be in absolutely no danger. After Helen gives her blessing for Andrew to leave for a few days, he finds himself on a small motorboat on the Amazon River seeking his fortune. Maybe this adventure really will be different.

When they pass a skinned body tied to a pole, Andrew realizes that nothing has changed...