T*o*a*d

How Abraham Lincoln and a giant T*O*A*D save America by helping the Noyes family drive to Niagara Falls on vacation. I'm Kelly, editor of the Walkintoad Democrat. (I know. That's like saying Democrat twice.) My neighbors, the Noyes, want to drive to Niagara Falls on vacation. So they hire this seven-foot-three kid lawyer named Abraham Lincoln Kim to sue Arkansas for unconstitutionally denying driver licenses to undocumented immigrants. When Abraham loses, we Walkintoadies organize T*O*A*D-Trust Our American Dream. In reaction to T*O*A*D's lawsuits, the Arkansas legislature passes a law ordering citizens to shoot illegal aliens and Catholics without guns. Our tiny town becomes the only city of refuge. Meanwhile, I fall crazy hard for Abraham's seven-foot sister, Joan. Ooof Sure, Walkintoad has wacky characters. So maybe we chase, sue, shoot, invent, sacrifice and laugh our way through unimaginable challenges. And, maybe a felony or two happen. But, wow, we truly were a magnificent and muddy, dangerous and endangered team. What we achieved is as profound as it is surprising. T*O*A*D has suspense: "Where do you live?" "In Arkansas." "Arkansas? Where they shoot immigrants " "We are safe. We live in Walkintoad." "Truly? Do you know this Jesus Noyes? The man who sued for the right to get a driver license?" Morena laid a hand of warning on her husband's arm. "Yes, I know that handsome devil quite well. In fact, the man who is now speaking to you is he." T*O*A*D has romance: "I'm seventeen, Mr. Belly. I'm not a boy any more. Sure, the love interest between you two is a big part of the story. Don't you think so? Don't you think all this freedom and equality and immigration stuff is really just about love, about changing your point of view and looking someone in the eye, and then going, like, wow . . . you know?" T*O*A*D proposes hope: "Is there room for us, Mama?" "Yes, dear ones. Did we not pass through so much open land on our way here? Missouri is practically deserted. And if we settle in a big city like Saint Louis, we come in politely, swing our elbows like this a little bit, say, Excuse me; please make room; I just need a little bit; thank you." The children laughed. Winston swung his elbows and hit a New Deli man who was looking west with longing. America is tilting at the balance. How the Supreme Court rules in T*O*A*D. v. The United States determines whether America abandons its role as champion of liberty, or whether it experiences a new birth of freedom. In this cross between Uncle Tom's Cabin and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, expect to laugh a lot and cry some, cheer for Abraham or rally against him. Do not be surprised if you are subtly and spiritually inspired with a civil liberty missing in America since the days of the first Lincoln.