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Ill never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.The key to any marriage is spontaneity. Youve got to be ready to leave at any time.Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tuckers volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call one-liners. Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grants collection and the immortal one-liner.Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask forand many youd never dream of asking for. My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.A dyslexic man walks into a bra.Corduroy pillows: theyre making headlines!Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.Schizophreniatogether I can beat it.Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: Narcotics, five letters.