What I Would Do If I Were You

A comedian's hilarious, sharply observed take on the bizarre events that make up day to day family life

"Every morning I wake up and I think, Today, I am going to be a nice person. But I can't do it. By 8 o'clock I have lost my mind. Every day my kids act like the whole concept of getting up and going to school is a brand new idea. 'What, we're going to school? Really, what a surprise ' Of all the parenting routines, it's the morning routine that turns my head inside out ..."

Welcome to the wonderful, slightly wacky world of Mandy Nolan. She is a stand-up comedian, an artist, and a mother of five children ranging in age from toddler to teenager. Her on-stage accounts of everyday events of family life have entertained audiences for years. This hilarious collection of stories centered around Mandy's chaotic and slightly dysfunctional family life--and her attempts to be like the perfect, ideal mother she knows exists, somewhere. Mandy's perspective on home life and all its complications is delightfully unconventional and, above all, wickedly funny. Her humorous take on the bizarre events and mundanities of daily life are honestly and sharply observed--whether it is trying to revive her children's dying guinea pig, coping with their Facebook friends, explaining the dangers of sex and drugs (while hoping desperately they don't find out about her own past indiscretions), battling against head lice, or struggling to regain her own disappearing self-identity.