Vulnerable

I wrote this book because I lost my fianc e. This isn't about how love conquers all. This is about fighting for that part of me who believes in true love. This is about fighting for the pieces of me that I have lost to love. There is more to love than hurt and compromise. I needed to figure out how to live a life where I could love fearlessly, unconditionally, and have enough self-esteem to refuse anything less. This book is my journey to these answers. I wrote this book because I believe in love. I keep my promises. I never appreciated the price of vulnerability. For years, I had so much passion and love to share that I thought I could experience any wound to my heart and be fine. I believed that I could suck it up and simply move on and that would be the end of it. But the fractures and tears mounted, to leave me wary and cautious. I had scars on my heart that left me callous and bitter. I changed, from a boy who could love with every shred of my being, to a man who was afraid of being vulnerable. Love got harder. Then I was in a relationship that broke me completely. It was my last shot, and I poured my everything into it, and it destroyed me. In the ashes, in the destruction, I remembered that boy who could love so faithfully. In the devastation I saw the choice between hope and love. The hardest thing I ever had to do was let go of the promise of something - the hope that this was the love that would be Happily-Ever-After - to be left with nothing. And then, with nothing left, I realized that somewhere deep inside I still had faith that true love was possible. Being vulnerable has a price. A price I had disdained, cheapened, by saying I was strong enough, or that the hurt I suffered didn't matter, and that it wasn't a big deal. I didn't realize that it was my self-esteem that was being chipped away. I didn't realize my self-esteem was broken until I was begging for love, and being scorned for my desperate vulnerability. I discovered the choice between being a person who hopes for love, and a person who is capable of true love. I discovered a lot of differences. My journey through being shattered and rebuilding myself was a brutal one. I wrote my raw emotion so others who are believers in true love could know they are not alone in their pain, and hopefully, so they can be inspired to love again. Share my journey so that you can learn with me. I once believed that if I loved enough, held on enough, that somehow my hope would be rewarded with true love. If I loved enough, surely I would be loved as much? I learned a subtle difference that changed my life and healed my broken heart. I now have faith in myself as a source of love. I can love wholly. I learned that I have to believe in love itself, not in a person who could be a source of love. And when I made that breakthrough, I was free of my broken heart and ready to demand more from love, and from life. Share my journey to becoming a person who can love wholly. Be the person who can love as fully, deeply, and passionately as you once could. And with your new strength and faith, be a person who deserves all that true love gives you, so you can have Happily-Ever-After. Andrew G. Wall