Drive Drunk, Walk Sober: One man's story of recovery from the guilt and shame of causing a fatal accident through drunk driving

I awoke to an unfamiliar sound vibrating through my head, my stomach churning, my body was aching all over. This was a familiar morning wake up call, except this time there was this unfamiliar noise. I could hardly make out the squeaky irritating sounds at first, and then I realized it was a small transistor radio belting out tunes and crackling sounds, which sounded alien to me at first.

My head was pounding, which was unusual, as I rarely had headaches from booze. I raised my hand to my forehead only to feel, what I can only describe as something like thread sticking out and so I tugged at them at first and boy did they hurt. It was then I realized they were stitches.

I would soon find out that I’d killed a boy in a car accident because I’d insisted I could drive. I was drunk. I was drunk all the time, and I couldn’t even admit it to myself. I journeyed through regret and toxic shame for decades. Now, I’m sober, and I’m recovering.

It is my vision that by being vulnerable and sharing what happened to me and how I have recovered it will touch the aching hearts of others and inspire them to come forward, get the help they need and deserve, love and forgive themselves, and start living life once more.